tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC March 25, 2020 1:03am-2:05am PDT
deray mckesson featuring the 8g band with carter mclean. ♪ [ cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night. how is everybody doing tonight [ cheers and applause that is wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news after showing reporters and outdated and hand doctored hurricane map you sharpied to include alabama, president trump last night tweeted out a screen shot of early weather projections to justify the move. and i mean really early projections. [ laughter and applause amid reports of hurricane dorian new articles have been published on fema's unofficial waffle house index for measuring storm severity, which tracks whether waffle house restaurants in particular areas are fully open, serving a limited menu or completely closed.
[ laughter ] and from what i know of waffle houses, if they're closed, run [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause a former trump campaign aide has announced she's dropping her lawsuit accusing president trump of kissing her without her consent. she's also asked that we stop referring to her as a campaign aide [ laughter and applause iowa representative steve king yesterday defended the conditions inside migrant detention centers and said he is not worried about reports that people have resorted to drinking from toilets because he himself drank the toilet water and said it was quote, "actually pretty good." [ laughter ] added king, "definitely top five toilets i've ever drank from." [ laughter and applause today, today was national be
late for something day in case any white people want to tell their friends about lizzo [ laughter ] that's as good as i thought -- i want to clarify. [ applause ] i didn't think that joke would go better than that. [ laughter ] but it's still an excellent joke [ laughter ] according to a new study, 63% of people find cleaning to be relaxing, while others do it to repress their murderous tendencies [ laughter and applause according to reports, florida's population is expected to increase by six million people by 2030, probably from all those people moving out of alabama to escape the hurricane [ laughter and applause starbucks announced today it will offer additional mental health benefits for its employees. while dunkin' told its employees to keep punching holes in the
drywall. [ laughter ] officials in new york are considering a proposal that would require cyclists to carry licenses, begging the question, "where?" [ laughter ] "i mean, yeah, i got it but you're not going to like where i'm holding it." [ laughter and applause and finally, according to a new study, 32% of americans would rather give up sex for an entire week than be in a customer service line said the other 68%, "you have sex every week?" [ laughter and applause ladies and gentlemen, we got a great show for you tonight [ cheers and applause he is the senator from vermont and a 2020 presidential candidate. senator bernie sanders is back on the show, everybody [ cheers and applause we're always so happy to have him back his very funny comedy special, "my favorite shapes," is currently streaming on hbo julio torres is back, you guys [ cheers and applause
and, he's a civil right activist and author, whose book, "on the other side of freedom" is now available in paperback deray mckesson is joining us [ cheers and applause so happy that we get to talk to him as well. before -- before we get to any of our guests, the president is still defending his doctored math insisting that he was right about hurricane dorian hitting alabama. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: now, we know donald trump is and has always been a conspiracy theorist and pathological liar who is completely detached from reality. [ laughter ] it's always been his brand it's just that back when he was a new york real estate buffoon, people didn't take it that seriously. [ light laughter ] new yorkers mostly ignored him because that's what new yorkers do with crazy people [ laughter and applause new yorkers -- new yorkers reacted to trump the way you react to a guy who gets on the subway with a lizard on his shoulder [ laughter ] that was trump except in his case he has two lizards. [ laughter ]
[ audience oohs [ cheers and applause in fact, trump's entire -- trump's entire origin story is basically that of a crazy guy, who after years of being ignored, finally heard, "hey, cool lizard. [ laughter ] his entire campaign for president started as a desperate attempt to get people to take him seriously as he himself admitted to his supporters during a speech in 2016. >> a lot of people have laughed at me over the years now, they're not laughing so much, i'll tell you. >> seth: that is something a villain would say in a superhero movie. [ laughter ] don't believe me because that line is almost verbatim a line from the new "joker" movie. >> a lot of people have laughed at me over the years, now they're not laughing so much, i'll tell you. >> everyone laughed at me. well, no one's laughing now. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause >> seth: so -- now sometimes trump lies for the obvious reasons like, you know, to cover up crimes sometimes he makes up weird
stuff for no apparent reason, and then, sometimes, there's just little bits of junk floating around in his polluted brain that he belches up during rambling speeches. like the time he claimed during a speech on trade that canadians were smuggling shoes back across the border to avoid paying tariffs on footwear. tariffs that do not exist. [ laughter ] >> there was a story two days ago in a major newspaper talking about people living in canada coming into the united states and smuggling things back into canada because the tariffs are so massive the tariffs to get common items back into canada are so high that they have to smuggle them in they buy shoes and they wear them [ light laughter ] they scuff them up they make them sound old or look old. >> seth: they make the shoes sound old? [ laughter ] what does that mean? do they complain about rap music? [ laughter ] do they hit the roof of their
apartment with a broom "turn that racket down [ laughter ] we got some boots trying to sleep. [ light laughter ] and of course it isn't just that trump lies, it's that he concocts elaborate fantasies to justify those lies even when they're contradicted by plain video evidence that you can see and hear for yourself. like the time he accidentally called the ceo of apple tim cook, "tim apple." [ laughter ] and then tripled down with a series of bizarre and shifting excuses. >> the president is still playing cleanup after he referred to apple ceo tim cook as "tim apple." >> we appreciate it very much, tim apple. [ light laughter ] >> the coverage of tim apple has apparently gotten under trump's skin at mar-a-lago on friday night with no cameras present, trump reportedly explained to a group of donors what really happened axios reports trump told the donors that he actually said "tim cook apple" like, really fast and the "cook" part of the sentence was soft, but all you heard from the fake news he said was tim apple. [ laughter ] >> a few days after that, trump wrote this, "at a recent roundtable meeting of business executives and long after
formally introducing tim cook of apple, i quickly referred to tim plus apple as tim apple as an easy way to save time and words. [ laughter ] >> seth: my favorite part of that tweet is when he writes out "tim plus apple" - [ laughter ] like he's carving it into a tree [ laughter and applause trump has been -- trump has been at war with reality virtually his entire adult life. and that war took one of its most insane turns yet this week when the president of the united states spread disinformation about a hurricane and then repeatedly went out of his way to insist he was actually right you might remember, this whole thing started when trump tweeted over the weekend that alabama would be hit by hurricane dorian and then 20 minutes later, the national weather service had to tweet alabama will not see any impacts by hurricane dorian. we repeat, no impacts from hurricane dorian will be felt across alabama that was 20 minutes later. the national weather service has to monitor the president's tweets as closely as they monitor actual hurricanes. [ laughter ]
which actually makes sense because when you think of it, donald trump is the hurricane, except unlike regular hurricanes that eventually die down everyday, trump blows harder [ light laughter ] after he was corrected by his own government, trump doubled down, as you probably saw. yesterday he seemed to alter a forecast on the storm's paths from last week with a circle added in sharpie, to include alabama. [ laughter ] my favorite thing about this is that he didn't even try to blend it in. [ laughter ] he could have at least sent an intern to kinkos to print up a new chart. "so, yeah, what are you trying to do here?" "we want to fake a hurricane map to retrofit a lie the president told to the american people. [ laughter ] "okay. when do you need it by?" [ laughter ] trump is even too lazy to lie convincingly and he used a sharpie, which gives it away because the only person in the world who's famous for using sharpies is donald trump [ light laughter ] it is a dead give away that's like turning to the avengers and saying, "all right
which one of you shot me in the ass with an arrow? [ laughter ] hawkeye, was it you, hawkeye?" [ light laughter ] and then later, trump was asked about the altered map and he was so flummoxed, all he could do was barf up a lengthy incoherent word salad >> you showed us the map earlier, the initial forecast >> yeah. >> it appeared to have been, i guess, edited or something to include alabama. can you explain how that came to be >> no. i just know -- i know that alabama was in the original forecast they thought it would get it as a piece of it. it was supposed to go -- actually, we have a better map than that, which is going to be presented where we had many lines going directly, many models, each line being a model and they were going directly through, and in all cases alabama was hit. they actually gave that a 95% chance probability it turned out that, that was not what happened. it made the right turn up the coast. everyone is going to be in great shape because we're gonna take care of it regardless. regardless but the original path was through florida. that was probably three days -
i think that's probably three or four days old. >> seth: i thought you wanted to save time and words. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause "i'll make up for this i'll make up for this. i'll say tim apple and that'll buy all that time back [ laughter ] bill microsoft, that's five minutes right there. [ light laughter ] also, if it's three or four days old then why are you telling us this why are you showing us a map of a hurricane that's so out of date you had to edit it with a sharpie? at his next briefing he's just gonna hold up a map of pangea. "so, this is a little out of date [ laughter ] a little out of date, but as you can see all the countries are crammed together one landmass [ light laughter ] and the hurricane, it was gonna -- it was supposed to hit all these stegosauruses over here. [ laughter and applause then -- then, the reporter asked a natural follow-up question, did you use a sharpie to alter the map? and trump acted like he had no idea what happened
>> and that map that you showed today looked like it was - almost had like a sharpie -- >> i don't know. i don't know i don't know [ laughter ] >> seth: it is so damning how he just keeps getting quieter [ laughter ] he's like a kid who hit a baseball through his neighbor's window "who did this? "i don't know. [ light laughter ] i don't know [ light laughter ] i don't know." [ laughter and applause also, what do you mean you don't know are you claiming someone else defaced your map, like some prankster snuck in and sprayed graffiti all over it "yeah. they crept in here and drew a circle in sharpie on it. and then they signed their names, tim plus apple. [ laughter and applause and then last night trump still couldn't let it go and tweeted what he claimed was a map of the original forecast dated august 28th which didn't prove anything anyway, because it was four days before his incorrect tweet on sunday. >> on wednesday, the president tweeted a map trying again to prove his incorrect point. but weather experts say the president was using an out of date map there were much fresher forecasts.
>> president trump tweeted this. it's called a spaghetti model. it shows every possible path the hurricane is forecasted to take. >> those spaghetti models were from august the 28th by the time the president tweeted about alabama at 10:51 a.m. on sunday, the forecast track had moved well east >> these are all the computer models the spaghettis >> seth: that's right. he tweeted a map of what's known as the spaghetti models. and of course, trump probably thought it was a map that tells you where you can find spaghetti. [ laughter ] "it's very helpful i didn't even know you could get spaghetti in alabama, but -- [ light laughter ] so the president has already been corrected by his own government, altered an official hurricane forecast with a sharpie, rambled on about it at a press conference and then tweeted about it and yet somehow this fever dream has not come to an end because trump woke up this morning and again reeled off another deranged tweet storm about it. trump tweeted, "in the early days of the hurricane when it was predicted that dorian would go through miami or west palm beach, certain models strongly suggested that alabama and georgia would be hit and then hurricane dorian took a different path up along the east
coast. why'd you put that in parenthesis? [ laughter ] that's the only part of the tweet that's correct [ laughter ] at this rate, trump's gonna start adding tiny footnotes to his tweets with the correct information at the bottom. "i just nuked something, a hot pocket in the microwave. [ laughter and applause this whole thing -- whole thing perfectly captures the constant exhausting bewilderment of living through the trump era there's a very real, a very real humanitarian crisis unfolding in the bahamas and a dangerous hurricane is threatening the mainland u.s and meanwhile, the president is obsessing over a map he doctored to defend an embarrassing mistake that he is now is repeatedly lying about almost nothing that comes out of his mouth is true. in fact, at any time he speaks, the odds that he's lying are - >> a 95% chance probability. [ light laughter ] >> seth: this has been "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ♪ we'll be right back with senator bernie sanders, everybody.
[ cheers and applause ♪ >> announcer: for more of seth's "closer looks," be sure to subscribe to "late night" on youtube. no matter how much you clean, does your house still smell stuffy? that's because your home is filled with soft surfaces that trap odors and release them back into the room. so try febreze fabric refresher. febreze finds odors trapped in fabrics and cleans them away as it dries. use febreze every time you tidy up, to keep your whole house smelling fresh air clean. fabric refresher even works for clothes you want to wear another day. make febreze part of your clean routine for full home freshness. la la la la la [ natural drums and [ music begins to build ]] [ drums beat faster ] unlimited coffee for $8.99 a month. panera, your cup is always full.
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charlie hunter, the jaime mclean band and broadyway's "the lion king" with us. be sure to check out his award winning instructional book, "concepts and creativity," which is available now carter mclean is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause >> thank you, seth >> seth: thanks for another great week it was wonderful having you back >> thanks so much. >> seth: our first guest tonight is the united states senator from vermont he's running for the democratic presidential nomination. please welcome back to the show, senator bernie sanders, everyone ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: welcome back. >> thank you >> seth: you look -- for everything a candidate has to go through, you look incredibly well rested. is that accurate >> not real well - [ light laughter ] we're hanging in there >> seth: you're hanging in you had -- there was a climate change forum last night. >> yep >> seth: and we have another round of debates coming up and i was wondering if you prefer a forum to a debate based
on the fact that as far as getting your messaging out, it must be nice to have a longer chunk of time. >> absolutely. the debate format is just weird. you know, you're asked complicated -- [ laughter ] you're asked complicated questions. and then you got 30 seconds to respond. "tell us what you're going to do about the healthcare crisis. all right, times up. [ laughter ] so, you know, the forum does give you an opportunity to, you know, speak at some length and cnn did a good job, i thought. >> seth: and it was, obviously, climate change is something, certainly, the democratic candidates are all taking seriously. people are unveiling plans that maybe cost $4 trillion, $5 trillion. you have a $16 trillion plan obviously, that's the most -- the highest price tag of any plans. >> yep >> seth: how do you explain to people that one, that's how much money it's gonna take. and, two, that we can actually pay for it >> well, we actually do pay for it i mean, one of the ways we pay for it is by doing away with $400 billion in tax breaks and subsidies that go to the fossil
fuel industry. [ cheers and applause i mean, here is the bottom line of this, seth. and what the scientists are telling us, not only, you know, that donald trump is living in a very far away and dangerous world when he thinks climate change is a hoax what they are telling us, that if we don't get our act together in fewer than 12 years the damage done by climate change in this country and around the world will be damage that cannot be repaired. and i think that we have a moral responsibility for our children and future generations to do everything that we can to make sure that we leave them a planet that is healthy and habitable. one where there is not more drought and more floods. i was in paradise, california. do you remember paradise that town that burned down in california it was unavailable
a year ago, a town of 26 thousand people, 86 people died some 18 thousand structures were burned we're looking at what's happening in the bahamas right now, which, you know, is intensified because of climate change this is what we have to look forward to in years to come unless we bring the world together and tell them that instead of spending a trillion and a half dollars a year on weapons of destruction designed to kill each other, maybe we pool our resources and fight our common enemy, which is climate change [ cheers and applause >> seth: you have obviously, from the very beginning, from even four years ago -- i think an issue people associate the most with you is healthcare. >> right >> seth: and you've recently called the corporate healthcare system, i believe, "crazy [ bleep ]" was that - [ laughter ] >> uh, not quite >> seth: okay, sorry >> i think i used the word, "obscene and barbaric. [ laughter ] but you're not far off >> seth: yeah. the gist, i think i got the gist right. a lot of the other candidates
have sort of come out for medicare for all but then have walked back to the idea of eliminating private insurance all together now the elimination of private insurance all together, that actually does not poll particularly well. are you -- do you think that is being misrepresented to people - >> yeah. >> seth: when they're asked that poll question? >> yeah, i do. i think if you say to people we are going to do away with all of your premiums -- just talked to a guy today. "how much are you paying for premiums?" "oh, a thousand dollars a month. that's $12 thousand a year "what's your deductible? "$4 thousand." he's paying $16 thousand before the insurance kicks in now you can call it a premium. but if you call it an insurance tax, all right, that looks a little bit different so what we're going to do under medicare for all is end all out-of-pocket expenses, all premiums, all co-payment's you're going to have freedom of choice with regard to the doctor and hospital you want to go to and at the end of the day, the overwhelming majority of the american people will be paying less for healthcare out of a general tax base than they do right now. look, at the end of the day --
and this is the point, we are spending twice as much per person on healthcare as the canadians or any other major country on earth and yet we have 87 million people uninsured or underinsured 30 thousand americans die each year because they don't go to a doctor on time we're getting ripped off by the drug companies who charge us the highest prices in the world for prescription drugs and they are not only greedy, they are corrupt i went up to canada last month with some people in the midwest who are dealing with diabetes. we bought insulin. you know what the differential was? it was one-tenth of the price in canada and that's because the drug companies engage in price fixing they're ripping us off and under my administration, that will stop believe me, that will stop [ cheers and applause >> seth: i think one of the things everybody asks the candidates is how will you work with -- if elected, how would you work with republican senators especially if the senate isn't taken back by democrats. how will you work with mitch mcconnell? obviously, in climate change,
with healthcare. in both those cases you will have to deal with the corporate interests of those industries. do you feel as though you can have a partnership with them moving forward or do you think they see your plans as so against their sort of better interests that it will be contentious >> the healthcare industry last year made $100 billion in profit when many millions of people can't even afford the prescription drugs they need or go to the doctor when they should and i think that -- and i that most americans now understand that we need a healthcare system which designed to provide quality care to all people not to make $100 billion in profit for the insurance companies and the drug companies. and that's what we are going to do and i think that the time is so long overdue for the united states to join every other major country on earth and guarantee healthcare to all. many people don't know that in canada - you have heart transplant in canada all right? you're in the hospital for a month. you know what your bill is when
you leave the hospital zero it's zero. you go to any doctor you want. you don't take out your wallet because healthcare is a human right there. and it must be a human right in this country and when we moved to medicare for all, we can save the vast majority of american people money on their healthcare bills. no more premiums no more co-payment's no more out-of-pocket expenses >> seth: you are - [ cheers and applause again, i said you look very robust you look healthy you have a background -- an athletic background. >> i do. >> seth: we have a high school track. there you are. >> that's me >> seth: there you are [ cheers and applause are you a decent runner? >> yeah, i was -- i was -- went to school in brooklyn, new york. and -- >> seth: yeah. you can't tell from your accent. >> i know that [ laughter ] yeah i mean, i think i won that race as a matter of fact. >> seth: very good it looks very -- i mean, you have the confidence of a guy who's leading. [ laughter ] we talked about this before. we've talked about "bernie
speaks," when you were a mayor in vermont, you had a public access show. >> i did >> seth: they have now, due to your rising profile, they've put them all online. >> i know. >> seth: and - [ laughter ] believe me, i know >> seth: we've just edited together a few of the things that we are just delighted by. so here are the highlights >> you are delight by. all right, let's see >> seth: bernie speaks >> i got a major announcement for all the hunger young boy scouts here if you go to the delicatessen on north street and north wanooski, they're going to provide you free sandwiches. [ light laughter ] >> what do you get for bringing in the biggest fish? >> $100 thousand for each category >> well, arty, listen, i -- a couple things i would like to chat with you about. >> $100 thousand >> yeah. >> for each category, lake trout or a salmon. >> holy god, that's a lot of money. [ laughter ] >> bernie, have you ever been on a horse before >> yes >> right >> does it look like i have not been -- what are you doing here? they're operating on -- the horse. [ laughter ] >> seth: see that's nice.
[ cheers and applause unlike a debate, we got to spend time with you. best of luck out there stay healthy it's always a pleasure to talk to you [ cheers and applause bernie sanders, everybody. we'll be right back with julio torres [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ ♪ only lexus asks questions like these, because we believe the most amazing machines are inspired by you. experience the rewards of our curiosity.
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: our next guest is an emmy-nominated writer, you know from his work on "saturday night live" and his hbo series "los espookys." his special, "my favorite shapes by julio torres," is currently streaming on hbo now please welcome back to the show, our friend, julio torres, everyone [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ >> seth: how are you >> i'm great, how are you? >> seth: i'm good. last time you were here, we had you with your co-stars, anna and fred, and you were talking about "los espookys. >> yes >> seth: you're working on a second season. will you be shooting i'm assuming in south america again? >> yeah.
we're going back to santiago, which is far >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. [ light laughter ] >> seth: we were saying you found incredible local actors to be a part of this show >> yeah, yeah. i mean, the -- so, fred, as in armisen, is in the show. >> seth: yes >> my friend anna, me, some fantastic mexican actors, and then a bunch of really talented chilean actors that are like, "oh, my god, it's a goldmine." >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: you traveled this summer greece, spain, right >> yes >> seth: do you like europe? could you see yourself living there? >> you know, i've been to berlin and i could see myself living there. they -- you know, they like their clubs. >> seth: yes >> yes >> seth: and you like your clubs? >> and i like my clubs as well and they -- but they do it right. you could even get like an acai bowl or a sandwich at the club, which is like not -- [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, wow >> yeah. >> seth: yeah, you don't think of that in american clubs, you don't think an acai -- >> in american clubs, you're hungry and then you have to go home >> seth: yeah, right [ light laughter ] >> but there, they have acai and i -- greece is great.
have you been? >> seth: i've been to greece, yeah it's lovely. >> it's -- i just love the water and the caves, they're just so full of secrets, because you just don't know. [ light laughter ] >> seth: these are water caves or just like - >> just any cave has i think, great secrets, but the juicier secrets are the water caves, yeah >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] and do you, are you someone -- >> as an aquarius. >> seth: oh, you're an aquarius. >> i need the caves, i need the water. >> seth: gotcha. and do you feel as an aquarius, the caves are more likely to give you their secrets [ light laughter ] as opposed to someone like, i mean, obviously a capricorn, i've never been given, yeah. [ laughter ] >> yeah, i'm certainly more seduced by the water and the secrets. >> seth: gotcha. >> yeah. >> seth: so traveling a lot, i'm very happy to hear this that you are not, you will -- only traveling and only at airports will you actually order a starbucks coffee >> yes >> seth: you are a coffee drinker. >> i am a coffee drinker but i don't frequent that kingdom. >> seth: wow >> the starbucks kingdom i don't -- i pass by them everyday but i don't frequent it
and when i have to, when i'm at an airport, a food desert that is the airport and there is nothing else, i refuse to participate in their laws. and i just say, "can i get a small coffee." >> seth: right [ laughter ] >> and then, they'll be, like, "you mean a --" and i'm not even going to say it because i just - [ laughter ] and i'm like, "a small." [ laughter ] and they're like, "okay, so a -- and i'm like, "if that is what you choose to call it, yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: but i would like your smallest coffee. >> i would like your smallest coffee [ light laughter ] however you choose to interpret that [ laughter ] >> seth: your special is so good on hbo >> oh, thank you >> seth: i highly recommend it to everybody and i first became familiar with your work on "snl. and one of the things i always like offering to "snl" writers is second chance theater where you could come here and produce a sketch that did not work on
"snl." >> yes >> seth: do you have any of those sketches that didn't quite work on the show >> i have -- i am 95% of those sketches, but -- >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] >> there was one that i was about to say it came close, but it didn't even get read. [ laughter ] the title of this sketch was "bluebie." >> seth: "bluebie. >> "bluebie. >> seth: okay. >> yes this was -- it was a week where my -- i just - you know, sometimes, you have so many ideas, sometimes, you forget that you have to come into work. >> seth: yeah. >> and, so i was completely drained of ideas and i was in anna drezen's office anna drezen, a brilliant - >> seth: great writer. >> fantastic writer, a true gem. and we were like, "what, should we write something together? like, what do we write what do we write?" and then, i just grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil. and was like, "how about something for her? >> seth: so this is what you drew >> yeah. [ laughter ]
>> seth: so you created the character first, and then, you said, we have to figure out a sketch for her >> and i was like, "how about something with her?" [ laughter ] and then, i think, if memory serves me right, anna drezen just sort of nodded and went -- bluebie. >> seth: bluebie >> yeah. >> seth: and who is bluebie? >> well, bluebie is -- bluebie is not a character so much, she's a medical condition. >> seth: oh, gotcha. [ laughter ] and how do you contract bluebie? >> by eating too many blueberries. [ laughter ] >> seth: and what are the symptoms of bluebie? >> well, in the sketch, a woman -- a pregnant woman goes to the doctor, and she's getting a sonogram i believe we wrote it for gal gadot. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] >> and she goes -- and then, the doctor is like, you know, the twins look fine, however, you have a bluebie and then, we would cut into the inside of this woman and bluebie is just sort of bouncing around, going, "i'm drunk, i'm a bitch." [ laughter ]
>> seth: so you eat too many blueberries and then you have a drunk -- >> yes >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] >> so if you eat too many blueberries, you run the risk of the blueberries coming together and forming an obnoxious drunk bluebie, who keeps lying >> seth: these are two blueberries who've met >> this is two blueberries who've met yeah, and these are other little blueberries, i think [ laughter ] and the worst that bluebie can do is that she keeps lying about being on the list. >> seth: oh, i see >> yeah. >> seth: at the club >> at the club [ laughter ] when she's not on the list she's deceiving you. >> seth: these are very late nights this, very much, bluebie strikes me as something that you maybe came up with very late at night. >> 4:00 p.m. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] but one of the hard things at "snl" is you're working and you're stressed and you sometimes forget to eat or you eat badly and somebody will order a pizza and the worst thing you can do at 3:00 a.m. if you're trying to, like, have an
idea is eat a piece of pizza >> right i don't -- i am vegan. so i looked at the pizza [ laughter ] but one time, my body really felt like it needed a smoothie >> seth: uh-huh. sure, sure, sure >> like, you don't need a solid, you don't need a juice, you need a smoothie so i just felt like i really needed a smoothie and i was in my office and i just looked up places where i could get a smoothie and i look up the kind of smoothie that i want. so then, i summoned an intern. [ light laughter ] and i know what you're thinking, like, "oh, you get your interns to get you a smoothie? >> seth: yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> and this lovely intern comes in i was like, "i would like this smoothie here's my card." he goes, "okay." then, he leaves. and it's late at night and it's dark out already, and i just get this horrible, horrible
pounding headache. i get migraines sometimes. so i just closed the door to my office and turned the lights off and just sit on the couch alone in darkness, just waiting -- just waiting for the headache to go away. then there's a knock on my door, sometime later and it's this lovely intern. i go, "yes." he opens the door, he hands me my smoothie, he hands me my card, and then, he looks at my computer screen and he seems terrified. [ light laughter ] and then, he leaves. and then, i see what he saw on my computer screen, which was a giant picture of the very smoothie i asked him to go get [ laughter ] so, to him, i am the psychopath, who is just sitting alone in the dark looking at a picture of a smoothie, thinking, "oh, you'll be mine.
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deray mckesson, everyone ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: welcome to the show >> it's good to be here. >> seth: so your journey was from a teacher to activist >> yes >> seth: what was it that made you change your path and become an activist? >> you know i love teaching. i taught sixth grade math here in new york and it was incredible sixth grade is great seventh grade is puberty and deodorant and it's not great [ laughter ] but sixth grade is amazing >> seth: get in there, right right at the end yeah >> it's great. you know, at the end of sixth grade is when they, like, think farting is cool. and you're like -- [ laughter ] but, you know, sixth grade was great. and i had this commitment to kids and then i saw mike brown was killed on the news and i was like, "they killed a teenager so the least i could do was stand in the street for two days for the weekend. so i go to st. louis the second i night in st.louis was the first night that i was tear gassed. and i was like, "i'll do whatever i can to make sure that nobody else experiences this." >> seth: and what made you think then -- i'm going to share this story. what made you want to sit down
to write the book? >> yeah, you know, it's been five years since the protests. and in five years so much has happened and i wanted to write a book where people could learn some of the lessons that we learned. where i could share some of the stories. and that was this. so i talk about all the stuff that we've learned since 2014. about the police about movement work. and about where we go next >> seth: one of the things about this book i noticed that, you know, you call it "the case for hope." what about what you've experienced and where you see going forward has made you have this optimistic view >> yeah, you know, i think about hope is a belief that our tomorrows can be better than our todays and, you know, in 2014 we probably would've said that we need better people better police chiefs, mayors, city council members but now we know we need a system that works whether the people are good or bad, right so you look now. we're like -- they're actually a set of laws, policies, and practices that almost guarantee the police won't be held accountable. and we know them you know, we actually know what the answers are. and we didn't in 2014. so we know that, like, a law in california that says that "any investigation of an officer that lasts more than a year can never result in discipline." that doesn't make sense. you know, we know those things so i'm hopeful because we know
what the answers are and i think we can do it >> seth: you are recognizable for a lot of reasons but one is the vest. >> the vest. >> seth: the vest is a calling card of sorts. tell us the story behind the vest >> you know, we were on the street -- you know, we were on the street for 400 days. it was illegal to stand still in august, september, and october of 2014, if we stood still for more than 5 seconds we were arrested it was wild. you know and i think about all those moments -- >> seth: how quickly into the protest did they establish this five second rule >> it was probably, like, 15-ish days, you know >> seth: okay, got it. >> i was one of the plaintiffs in the court case that got that deemed unconstitutional. but it was like, imagine not being able to stand still. it's a long time - >> seth: yeah. >> of marching you know, people thought we were marching in solidarity with the civil rights movement. it was, like, no we had to march. we would have loved to stand still. but we had to march. >> seth: yeah. >> so we did and it was so wild and i never want to forget it. so the vest was, like, my reminder it is my reminder that, like, what we went through was real. the tear gas, pepper spray we did a sit-in of a police department i got dragged out of that police department by my ankles and thrown out that, like, all those things happened, you know >> seth: you, obviously, believe police reform is a vital step we
need to take how do you go about doing it how do you enact it? how do you get police departments to agree that there is a path forward that takes everybody into account >> yeah, so getting the police department to agree -- a little shaky. but we know that a third of all the people killed by a stranger is actually killed by a police officer in this country. this is the first year ever where black people are more afraid of being killed by an officer than being killed in a community. which is wild. and we're trying to help people understand that, like, the safest neighborhoods aren't the neighborhoods with more police they're the neighborhoods with more resources so nypd, you've probably seen on the news that the nypd is going through a slow down where they're, like, not arresting people and this is their sort of, like, middle finger to the mayor around firing the officer who killed garner. do you know what's happened since the slow down? >> seth: has crime has gone down >> crime has gone down both times, yes. [ cheers and applause it is -- >> seth: i would have crushed it in your sixth grade math class too. yeah >> yeah, one more. of all the arrests that happened in the country, what percent do
you think happened for violent crime? >> seth: of all the arrests that happened in the country, what percent happened because of violent crime? five >> how did you -- they told you? >> seth: no, i don't know. >> i'm kidding no, it's five percent. yeah, isn't that nuts? >> seth: all right >> it's much lower than people - [ laughter ] exactly, exactly >> seth: well, i would have answered differently if you weren't asking, you know what i mean yeah >> yeah, so it's just not as bad as people think. and we want people to know that, like, if i asked you where the safest -- where you feel the safest, you're probably not going to say a room full of police, right? you're probably going to be, like, a place where there's food, shelter, family and resources. and we believe that for everybody. so how to get the police on board, hard in some places because they sort of exist in a world where there's not a lot of accountability and, like, imagine if there's an institution where the worst thing you can do, you just get sent to a training it's like, that's not really an accountable thing. so places like portland, oregon, seattle, they have laws that say -- or rules that say that officers have to be disciplined in the least embarrassing manner it's like i don't even know what that means you know what i mean and cleveland, they destroy police officers disciplinary records every two years. you're like, you can love the
police and think that doesn't make sense, you know >> seth: well i -- you know, i think with any institution as well, you want them to improve and it does seem like those are things that are in place that make improvement tricky. i want to thank you so much for writing this book. and thank you for all your activism and thanks so much for being here tonight i really appreciate it [ cheers and applause >> it's good to be here. >> seth: deray mckesson, everybody. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ♪
[ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ daniel: tonight on "a little late with lilly singh. >> lilly: sergio is your assistant, not your gynecologist [ laughter ] >> daniel: and - >> lilly: lilly's wrong answers only what to use when your boyfriend won't choke you during sex [ buzzer ] >> daniel: plus -- >> lilly: the mega-talented karen gillan >> three, two, one [ burp ] >> lilly: yes! >> i wrote a musical called "scream: the musical." >> lilly: scream scream scream is good and wild. let me read you a line about something gross, then you'll try to sing that line as beautifully as you can ♪ a pigeo just pooped in my hair oh no a pigeon definitel pooped in my hair ♪ [ cheers and applause >> daniel: coming up ♪